Redhead Gets a Bath

Yesterday, Redhead went streaking into the house and down to the basement. Later I noticed that he had laid down about six feet of skid marks on the rugs and he was furiously trying to clean up his bottom. Somehow he had poohed and it all stuck to his bottom.
I finally decided that it was time for Redhead to have a bath. He’s a big tough cat and has never had a bath before. I figured I was going to take some damage but I had to try. I got him into the tub with a little water in the bottom. I had a firm grip on the scruff of his neck and he was crying while I was doing my best to wash his butt. That’s when things went bad.
You might remember that Midnight, one of my sweet female cats, hates it when there’s any fighting in the house. If she hears any yowling, she’ll come running and will sort things right out. So Redhead is crying, I’m trying to hold him and wash his bottom, and Midnight wants to know what the hell is going on. She keeps trying to get by me to get to Redhead and I keep pushing her back. Then she decided that I must be at least half the problem so she attacks me!
Now I’ve got a hold of a wild cat in the bathtub and another wild cat is attached to my back. I finally manage to swat Midnight to get her to back off. I finished with Redhead, and then went for band-aids and Bactine.
To cap it all off, Redhead sat in my computer chair to dry himself off. Hours later I sat down and when I got up I’m wondering “Why is my butt wet”, oh yeah.